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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What do we owe our parents when they get older? Does it depend on what they did for us as kids? Their own needs? Financially, emotionally, logistical support? Do we owe them to have them live in our home, when they need care? Does the decision depend on how much they were willing to do for their own parents? I am asking myself those questions - and don’t have the answers?[/quote]

I will just remind those of you with children, that they are watching and learning how to treat their elders from you.  And one day, they will be walking in the shoes you are walking in.

That being said, you don't owe your parents anything.  You do for them because you want to, with love, not because you are obliged to.[/quote]

I agree with you. My kids are learning that my parents, who treated my husband and I with respect and love, starting in my childhood and continuing through today, have our support as the age, including financial (though not needed) and physical (if needed)

On the other hand, they know that my husband’s parent were neglectful throughout his life and abdicated their parental responsibilities beginning at a young age (probably 11 or so). FIL passed but MIL’s health is declining. We pay for her cell phone, occasional groceries and a cleaning service.  But that is the extent of our obligations. She will never receive significant monetary or physical support. And she shouldn’t expect more, considering she refused to cancel her own vacation when her mother was dying, or return from said vacation early upon learning she passed.

My children learned that the way you treat people, even those with a familial bond, reflects how they will one day be treated. [/quote]

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