Reply to How should I deal with emotionally dismissive parents?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your mother did the best she could at the time. You cannot base your happiness now on asking other people to deliver more than they can. She doesn't want to rehash the past. She can't go back and change what happened, and she isn't in a place to fill your emotional needs now. You need to work on yourself now, that is the only thing you can change.[/quote]

I work myself and start healing myself by accepting that she doesn’t love me? Or loves me a little but not enough? Is that what you mean? I want to accept the truth, I just don’t know what the truth is, I think a lot of my internal struggles come from this confusion. [/quote]

Yes, you work on understanding that her ability to love you is limited and not exactly how you want to be loved. I have a dad with a limited capacity to love other people. It was always so hard for me to explain this to people until Trump became president. My dad loves his kids like Trump loves his kids. He loves us to the extent we “make him look good” and he can brag about us. But he doesn’t actually want us to outshine him. He is a narcissist that is ultimately desperately insecure. I accept it. I get nothing emotional from him. I never will. I spend limited time with him. He knows very little about my life. I have a wonderful husband, kids and friends who support me, along with an aunt and uncle that function as my surrogate parents. I am quite happy.[/quote]

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