Reply to Getting over the fact that your parent-child relationship will never be more?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your parents don’t sound terrible to me, OP, and you chose to move far away from them so some of the emotional detachment that you feel is squarely on you.  [/quote]
OP here. I haven't said they are terrible; please don't put words in my mouth.

As for being far away, I'll break it down into a few components:
1. We moved for job opportunities, not to get away from them.
2. Even when we lived closer (5-7 hours, instead of 10-12 hours) and I came home more often, they rarely asked to come visit me in return. They visit my brother (who lives further from them than I do) much more often, so it's not that they don't want to travel. They have always been closer to him, so I'm not surprised by the discrepancy in visits, nor am I really complaining about the favoritism, just using it to illustrate their willingness to travel overall.
3. After I moved, they moved. The distance from me is only an hour further (went from a 10 hour drive to an 11 hour drive), but their new location is 2 hours from a major airport, instead of in a metro area, so quick trips by plane are not really possible, making visiting more often harder. They were considering retiring to a community closer to an airport to make it easier for my family and my brother's family to visit them, but decided against it. That's their prerogative and I want them to live where they will be happy, but it means they thought about prioritizing easier visits and decided against it.
4. They have never initiated a visit. I'm always the one to ask them to come or to go on vacation with us or suggesting that we come to them. I'm also the one initiating phone calls and video chats 95% of the time.

Again, they are not terrible people or terrible parents. [b]They're just not capable of building a deep emotional relationship or discussing difficult feelings or subjects.[/b][/quote]

Maybe you’re a bratty daughter who always wants to get her way and are not capable of understanding their simplicity, which they seem to be perfectly comfortable with.

Op, enjoy the parents you have. We all wish our parents could have done a better job at xyz, but they are their own individuals, not at your service forever. They’re done raising you.

There are things I wish my parents would acknowledge, because it would show me they care, but I know they do, and I don’t need to crush their ego and pride do they can show me.

Grow up and good luck to you. [/quote]

I agree with PP.  Your parents probably struggle with how to act with you.  One of my siblings has always had issues with our parents and the rest of us know they aren’t perfect but accept them the way they are.  [/quote]

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