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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]People with normal SILs don’t write about it. Well, except I will here: my SILs are awesome to me. They really do love me like I’m their actual sister.

[b]People who are mean to their sibling’s wives are probably  also mean to other people. I doubt they save it for their SILs. [/b][/quote]

Agree.  My SIL is difficult, but is learning social skills as she ages, and as she learns she has to make her own friends.  For years, she considered her own sisters friends to be her friends, until her sisters became tired of SIL glomming on. Finally, SIL joined a church and met some people that are sort of like her. The socialization is good for her, she has always had a hard time making friends.  She tends to use me as a talking point, because she does not have many interests of her own.

I think it took SIL a many years to consciously decide not to be a mean girl, in her adulthood, but she is still working on it.  She will never be inclusive and free of her mean girl tendencies, because it will always be all about her, and her perceived threat by those who are different (ie: her own narcissism and enabling by her family). I don't have a problem with SIL, but when she comes at me, I don't put up with it, and she doesn't like that.  She is very much accustomed to people taking her  guff. Communication, in general, is not her (or her family's) strong point, and she has some growing to do, but at least there have been some small steps toward her maturation.

I do think that SIL and her family could be more mature, communicative and inclusive, in general - but I won't hold my breath for any big changes in the family, as they only get worse with age. There is a lot of anger and self hate from well before me. So, this is a specific case, but I suppose many points could be universal. 
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