Reply to How can I gracefully bow out of Christmas next year?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]1) tell them way in advance. I would message everyone no later than March/April
2) don’t apologize for not hosting and don’t offer alternate dates to host; don’t offer to travel to them. You and your spouse and kids deserve to actually enjoy a holiday for once.

Going on a trip is a great way to get out of hosting/visiting family but it’s not necessary if you’d rather have Christmas at your own home. You just need to be brave and speak up for yourself.

“I wanted to go ahead and let you all know now that we will not be hosting Christmas 2024. While we love spending time with you all, we are going to have next Christmas be more low key with just our little family of 4. We also no longer want to participate in a gift exchange. We are going for a more simple, easy, relaxing holiday going forward.”

I’m sure it’s really hard for you to write and send a message like that but you need to just do it, for the sake of your kids. You want your kids to enjoy Christmas not dread it.[/quote]

This. I'd use this script and send it no later than March/April (or even send it now). I like this because it doesn't use travel as an excuse. Saying you're going to Paris/resort in 2024 might make people think it's a one-off. Better to lay the groundwork for simpler holidays going forward.

Also, personally, I'd rather spend Christmas at home with my small family of four and would not want to travel internationally over Christmas. That seems like you're swapping one kind of stress for another. [/quote]

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