Reply to When to intervene- Mean Girl Bullying

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm sorry that your DD is going through this.  I'm also sorry that you are about to find out that none of these other parents are actually your friend.  Despite PPs claiming they would want to know if their child was a bully, in my experience no parent wants to know and will often make excuses for their child's behavior.  I would start looking at new schools for your DD.  [/quote]

OP here. I fear you will be absolutely correct. My heart breaks. [/quote]

OP, yikes. You need to grasp the OBVIOUS fact that these parents are no more your friends than their kids are your daughter's friends.

Enroll her in the boyfriend's public to start in January.

Get her therapy to work on her self esteem, and set a better model yourself. You are so enmeshed in a horrible situation that you seem reluctant to do the sensible thing and step away as a family. Have your husband confine his ire to trying to get some amount refunded on your remaining contract.

Social ostracism is a thing, if for no more reason than negative group bonding. This is not a safe or healthy situation anymore for your kid. The admin can't control social dynamics and you can't control other parents.

If you are not in bounds for the boyfriend's public, I'd consider moving in bounds. Get on with your lives. We can't control other people, only ourselves. We do no one any favors by indulging in magic thinking. Whatever ego investment you had in the social scene at the private, it no longer exists for you and yours, for no good reason. That happens sometimes. [/quote]

Op here. Reluctantly there is truth to this. But I am willing to dumpster fire the Mom friends if they are ok or ignore this bully behavior. Because I just can’t respect their complicity. I can always make new friends. I just don’t want it to backfire on my daughter and make it worse for her. I hate starting over somewhere else when we have such a good relationship with the school and they support her academics (she needs a lot of support) but my daughter’s mental health is first. No question. She def won’t be following her boyfriend to any school though. He is a great supportive kid but she’s her own person. I never want her relying on a boy/man to feel safe and valued. That has to come from within.  When they eventually break up (like all teens do) where would that leave her? I’ve struggled with those self esteem issues my whole life as a result of bullying.  Boys are not the answer to mean girls. [/quote]

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