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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
My husband, who escaped a war as a child and suffered extreme deprivation, is now a financially-successful adult who cannot spend his wealth. He also hoards. These are the consequences of lasting trauma from childhood. He is completely unattached to material things, or how they look or are perceived by others.

We bought one house, very old and rickety but on valuable land in a desirable neighborhood. He agreed to critical renovations, but there are still so many things that could use an upgrade, that will never get done. Our cars are ancient and beaten up, but won't get replaced until they literally cannot move. He doesn't replace his clothes unless there are holes or visible stains.

Meanwhile we have 10M+ in various assets. Thank goodness, he became successful through education, and he is willing to spend on our children's education as well. Otherwise I would divorce him.

So you have all my sympathies. The only way I can get him to spend is by dint of persistent persuasion, where I present all my arguments with scientific precision. Sometimes it takes years to get him to make a purchase. Keep trying.

[/quote]

Similar story here, although not *quite* as financially successful. The legacy of growing up with a lot of fear and uncertainty is that my DH hedges against everything and hates to spend on anything other than education or health care. He finally agreed to a renovation and addition on our tiny, tear-down level house a few years ago. Just as we started, I got a big promotion and a 50% raise. So we made wise choices but didn't opt for the least or the cheapest thing we could do. It's still a small house, not nearly as posh as what most of our colleagues have. But he now LOVES the post-reno house and acknowledged that we should have done it sooner. The only problem we have now is that he literally refuses to travel because he's so comfortable at home![/quote]

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