Reply to Platonic boy girl friendships in high school

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Dad here. I was a shy kid with zero game but was a red blooded straight teenage guy (with all the hormones and thoughts that come with that). I had a number of female platonic friends in high school. It fell into the following categories:
1. Girls I was friends with since childhood. Some of whom were/are objectively attractive. These were true platonic friendships—they were like a sister. A couple of them I’m still friends with to this day, get together with spouses and families.

2. Girls I wasn’t attracted to or more often told myself they weren’t attractive because I was worried about what people would say if we got together. Thinking back, some of these I would have totally ended up hooking up with if we met after I was 21 or so and had more confidence and cared less about what people thought. A couple in this category also wanted more from me, but being young women, were waiting for me to make the move (not being arrogant, just stating a fact).

3. Girls I did want to hook up with but was too scared to make a move and thought over time the friendship would naturally grow into more without having to put myself out there. Most guys learn eventually this is the worst way to get together with a girl you like—it just took me a little while.

So I don’t know where this leaves OP other than to realize that it’s possible but it depends. Unless you’re talking about a childhood friend, where the dynamics are pre-established and it’s just different, it’s probably usually the case that one party or another wants more. That doesn’t mean the friendship isn’t real or meaningful, or that the unrequited party is being exploited.

But kids do need to be careful—as a parent I’ll teach my kids when they get older (I have boys but the advice applies to girls too) that they shouldn’t create a deep friendship while standing by and hoping that it morphs into more. It doesn’t make the friendship meaningless but it can cause pain and lead to weirdness. [/quote]

DP:

Three possibilities today:

1) they end up dating/ having sex.

2) she “friend-zones” him; he gets blue balls and is miserable. Or

3) he’s gay or she’s gay, and they stay friends.

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