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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I just do the admin work. I don't have a good solution. DH also has ADHD but is very successful at work (I make more money), so clearly he can do well when he wants to. I make all the appointments and make him take the kids. He also has to do all drop offs and has lists of tasks he has to do. He does all of that willingly and no issues. He likes being my employee I guess.

It's the labor that requires thought and foresight that he can't do. He can't make the appointments ahead of time. He can't remember to pay bills or shop for insurance. It annoys me that this stuff is called "admin work" because that makes it sound like it's easy secretarial work. It's more like the family manager type work. [/quote]

OP, you can only control you. Either consider yourself the family manager and set up systems and let the resentment go or face that you will likely be divorced, in which case you will manage your own home 100% and still struggle re: shared child rearing tasks.

Also, your finances will take a huge hit and your children will spend their lives shuttling back and forth. You chose to have another child with him. Give your kids a smoothly running home life with overseen finances or don't but power struggles with him will likely change nothing. BTDT. I found outsourcing as much as possible helped too.

It does suck but we can only control ourselves. Few I have known who went to counseling about this had things significantly change. Seethe silently and divorce, fight constantly and divorce or manage the family and drop the resentment. [/quote]

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