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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There is a big difference between vilifying sweets and harping on what a kid eats versus providing some structure and guidance.

When I tell my kid, “hey let’s hold off on that pop tart, Halloween candy, etc until you have dinner. Once you have a protein, carb, fruit and veg, let’s see how hungry you are”, I don’t think I’m shaming her or setting her up for an eating disorder.

If I was like “OMG, are you really eating a piece of cake right now?!?!!!”, then I am likely creating unnecessary issues.

It sounds like dad doesn’t understand this. Combining this with his hypocrisy, this is a recipe for a bad relationship with his kid — even if the kid avoids an eating disorder.[/quote]

Eh.  When she's an adult, she will blame her parents for her weight, whatever they say or don't say, whatever they do or don't do.  OP is on denial.[/quote]

Dunno about this. My spouse was obese as a teen and has the photos and stretch marks (arms, midsection) to prove it.

He did zero athletics or even rec sports. His dad picked up a 50% off 5pm pie every day from the grocery store and the 4 of them ate it all. The mom also had them eat roasts, veg and salads, but then always the damn dessert and tons of snacks. They eat very quickly, don't talk at dinner meals, and that was that.

He never brought up his parents' parenting though. I need to ask them. Just over Thanksgiving they were commenting on his weight having gone up. I need to ask them "Wasn't he obese as a teen as well? How or why did that happen?"

THe only time he wasn't overweight  was when a college and grad student. WIth his ASD / ADHD and working he just cannot structure or organize his time or emails or work, and then works nonstop. eat, work, tv, eat, work tv. [/quote]

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