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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I feel really sad reading all of this. I have never been cheated on by my spouse that I know of. But it really feels like something is off with our society and probably women’s perceptions of their marriages as the be all, end all of their lives and worth.

I have a friend that once put it to me like this: “I love my husband with all my heart. But I’m not blind enough to think that one day he could cheat, or leave, or let me down in some way. Anyone could do this, even the ones that seem to be of solid character. But it’s my job as a woman and a friend to myself to know my worth, and to carry on if he lets me down.” Or something like that.

I’m not trying to blame women who were cheated on for how they feel. I just try to live my life thinking, my DH, despite my love for him, is human and fallible. Life takes all kinds of turns and we really have to be ready for them. To think that every man will remain faithful to every woman they made that promise to is obviously crazy. We know that as humans we simply can’t do this. Millions and millions of both women and men get cheated on, and millions and millions of women and men make themselves ill with worry and heartbreak.

I really think it’s time we compassionately allow ourselves to acknowledge that things won’t always work out, and that we will be ok in spite of it. The alternative is a heartbroken and ill half of the population. And that too much. [/quote]

As an independent career woman who anyone that knows me has said I don’t put up with sh@t and they joke how I’d toss my husband out immediately….

Reality is so different when you go through this.  It is absolutely nothing like you thought or would believe. NOTHING.  Is not the “wife thing”, it’s not an identity problem it’s a wound a deep deep wound and your universe literally is upside down and you no longer trust those strong instincts of yours.  You don’t believe anyone anymore—it makes you paranoid—even among friends.

Movies and books do not portray it.  When you have kids to protect and think about it’s even harder. It’s like how you have zero idea what being a parent is like until you are in it,,,and you have had to deal with a heartbreaking diagnosis of a child or tried to protect them.  You know as a non-parent what you think you would do: but you can’t fathom all the emotions, etc.

Anyone who says “I’ve never been cheated on, but..”, please, just stop right there. Don’t go on. And, for the record, I was saying “I’ve never been cheated on” when I was actually being cheated on.  [/quote]

I’ve watched several close to me going through this lately and I am certain I don’t know all the truly awful details,, supporting role but very angry on their behalf. Friends and family feel a sort of betrayal too when these people pretend to be what they are not in front of all of us.[/quote]

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