Reply to What did you do about ‘fairness’ if one child’s education costs a lot more than the other’s?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My DD is at a private college and my DS will be attending an in-state public.

If he also was attending a private we would had have to stop funding our retirement for the duration of his education, but now we don’t :)

If any of you are/were in a similar position, how did you feel about the “fairness”? Did you even address it? fwiw DD is taking $3500 subsidized loans annually and DS doesn’t have to take out any loans, which he will know.
[/quote]

This is a difficult one. Perhaps you could help your DS with graduate/professional school to make up for it? How your children feel about this probably depends on the history of how they've been treated in the home. If they have always felt equally loved and supported, perhaps they'll both be OK with the disparity in spending.

I come from a dysfunctional religious family that didn't value education for girls. I was the only daughter and had many brothers. My brothers went to expensive private high schools, their university education was covered, and they were not expected to help out around the house. I went to public schools, was on my own for university, and was kept busy with household chores. This was many decades ago (I'm old), and my parents might have been a little more enlightened in today's world. I'm sorry to say that I will die resenting this. My brothers were taught that women and girls had little value or agency and were not very pleasant to be around. Both my parents were extremely misogynistic. My mother was a slavedriver who made me help her clean and cook and do laundry. I doubt there is this sort of inequality between your children, but I would remain attuned to your DS's feelings about the issue. [/quote]

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