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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Well there are a few possibilities:

1. She is too immature to realize and accept that a DH is not necessarily a trained therapist who knows the perfect thing to say at all times

2. She wants to be with someone else and using you as a scapegoat

3. You are actually an a-hole and don’t realize it. Also, wtf is “helping” around the house[/quote]

In my experience, it's almost always #3.

Men are usually a-holes. Or perhaps the term is generally more self centered.

Just observe platonic relationships between women. It's not that hard. When a woman makes a friend, she mirrors a lot of the nice things her friend does for her. If I am sick and my friend makes me a hot pot of soup, I make her hot pot of soup when she is sick. If she gets me something nice for Christmas, I get her gifts  for occasions. The list goes on.

With men, they dont mirror. You have to spell everything out. They will claim they are nice and patient, but they have to be instructed on everything but the most basic acts of kindness.  It gets old.
[/quote]

Putting aside how obnoxious it is to see "mean are usually a-holes," it is laughable that you think women have easier friendships than men. In fact, you're comparing friend relationships between women with romantic hetero relationships, which is a bad comparison. A more telling comparison would be that men have much easier friendships with other men than women have with other women. Men don't have nearly the competition and drama within friend groups.

If I wanted to stereotype like you did, I would say that it is because men tend to be more stable and rational than women and value getting along without drama. Women, more than men, tend to use their own emotional "needs" as a way to manipulate and control friends and loved ones.[/quote]

[b]Men actually tend to have far fewer friends than women. For many men, their wife is their only friend.[/b]

I don't know why I'm even saying this, anybody who puts the word "needs" in quotes like you did is not a rational, knowledgable individual and is highly unlikely be persuaded that they might be wrong. [/quote]

Do you have any evidence to back this up? Does having more people you'd call a friend mean that those are good and healthy relationships?

And since we are just making up things, I'll note that women have far more unhealthy rivalries in their lives than men, and that's because women prioritize their own emotional reactions--often driven by wild hormonal fluctuation--over how those emotions affect other people.
[/quote]

https://www.cnn.com/2022/11/29/health/men-friendships-wellness/index.html

https://www.americansurveycenter.org/why-mens-social-circles-are-shrinking/

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/11/28/well/family/male-friendship-loneliness.html

https://www.dazeddigital.com/life-culture/article/57460/1/straight-men-no-friends-toxic-masculinity-loneliness-u-ok

https://qz.com/quartzy/1265765/ezra-klein-explains-why-men-are-so-bad-at-friendship

https://www.wsj.com/lifestyle/relationships/should-your-spouse-be-your-best-friend-473ce00a#

These articles often are based on the same four studies but they examine the question you asked about the quality of male friendships v. the quality of female friendships.

I know that as you read these you won't believe the facts because they don't confirm your biases, but at least this was fun for me. :) 
[/quote]

Thanks for citing these. Interesting and depressing reading, and definitely food for thought.

I guess I responded more flippantly than necessary to the PP who said that men are generally a-holes or self-centered because it was a sh***ty thing to say.

I don't think the posted sources at all support that statement by PP (maybe that was  you). I think that quite the opposite, it suggests that men tend to hold things in more with a stiff upper lip because that's what they are taught to do from a relatively young age, and that THAT is what ultimately makes it likely for men to become more isolated.

Anyway, thanks for posting these links.[/quote]

Another point I should have added, based on reading those articles. It seems like women see sharing their own emotional weakness as being generous with loved ones, whereas men see it as being selfish or weak. This is how men and women tend to be socialized. This means that in close relationships, men hold things in, and women share; women see the holding-in as selfish and men see the sharing as selfish.[/quote]

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