Reply to How do you “emotionally support” a woman?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP very good question. Here is my take as a married man. The best way to emotionally support your wife is to LISTEN. I am not kidding, we pretend to listen but in reality we don’t. And we don’t do it because we are a**hole or don’t care, I honestly believe it’s a quality that women have and that men don’t.

My second take is that and I could be wrong most divorces are not the result of infertility but the result of emotional neglect.

Women often justify divorce by saying that “I gave him warnings, multiple chances”. What we failed to realize as men is that women don’t bluff. They know exactly what they want and if they don’t get want they want they will blow everything up.

I will finish by saying that if most divorced men knew what it took to keep their woman emotionally happy many would still be married.

Women also behave as if they are on “borrowed time”. They have specific milestones they must achieve by certain points in time. As a result many men think that they are being given “ultimatum”. Ultimate to get engaged, then to get married, then to have children, then this, then that. As a result resentment build with us even if we don’t show it. There are many instances in my marriage I feel like I am consistently being ask to do something by xyz time. The other day I was supposed to fix something in the house but I forgot because I was so busy with work and my wife blew up in my face. She said she asked many times (which is true) but I didn’t fix it. I don’t she was being a bad person I just think that men and women think very differently.

And because gender roles today are really being challenged, [b]women’s happiness is being prioritized[/b] (and for good reasons), men I think are confused navigating this environment. [/quote]

It's being prioritized more, but not prioritized above the happiness of men. It just feels like it's being prioritized more beacuse it's a new thing for men. Women are just expecting an equal level of happiness. In the past (and still now) a lot of men lived with the assumption that women would just deal with an acceptable level of unhappiness. [/quote]

I am a man here and I agree 100%. J am modeling my marriage after my dad’s. Big mistake and I am on my way to divorce. I really think we men need serious therapy before getting married because we are not realizing how much gender equality in almost all aspects of life have been achieved. I am 45 and my parents are in their 70s. So I grew up in a household like many men my age where our moms put up with so much and yet never complained. This is explaining the rise in “gray divorce” and also the rise in divorce in general.

The question for the future is whether marriage will still be one of those major life events that have defined us for so long. And I also think women are also confused. Namely many still have that dream of a beautiful wedding day, the perfect husband etc, yet they failed to realize that many of the men they will end up with have still not caught up to this new environment and probably never will. [/quote]

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