Reply to Can a friend group be toxic for some people but not for others?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yes, of course. I witnessed this at my workplace. I learned from my experience that poor communicators, those who don't understand subtle cues/hints and social undercurrents, are the most likely to get ostracized by a certain type of hyper-sensitive woman, who perceive their faux-pas and occasional awkwardness as intentional rudeness, and try to push them out.

It's hard to mend once it snowballs, because by then both parties have been offended by the other and are objectively guilty of something. But the "one who started it" is usually one or more women who think they've been insulted and become punitive.

It's very important, if you're part of the onlooking majority, to never believe rumors and never take anyone's subjective opinion as truth, otherwise you tend to get sucked into one side and enable the tribalism.

[/quote]

Wow, great analysis. I was once the poor communicator attacked by a hypersensitive coworker who was jealous and believed I had slighted her. I reacted by literally never speaking to her our about her again for the next two years - this was only possible because I rarely worked with peers (small law firm where associates worked 1:1 with partners). That insulated me. She later flamed out spectacularly, which was satisfying. [/quote]

You responded to someone being offended by your bad communication skills by totally withdrawing and pretending this person didn't exist for two years even though you worked in a small firm together?

I'm sorry, but that sounds insanely immature. Also, why is she hyper sensitive if you can admit that you were the poor communicator? Why not just say "I'm sorry, I could have communicated that better"? Instead of just ignoring her.

This all sounds so dysfunctional to me. If you have poor communication skills, improve them. If you say something hurtful to someone (even unintentionally) apologize.

It just sounds like a lot of people with no conflict resolution skills, who are unable to apologize or be accountable for their own behavior, blaming everything on people who are allegedly "hyper-sensitive" and "jealous." [/quote]

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