Reply to I have a tumor, DH doesn't care. WWYD?

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Reply to "I have a tumor, DH doesn't care. WWYD?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He's probably terrified.  I'd talk to a therapist instead of him.[/quote]

This op his terrified of losing you

Scared for the kids

Traumatized by the last time and he doesn't know how to express those emotions so it comes across as anger.

A therapist is a good idea to process your own feelings and how to deal with your husband and kids.

Ideally everyone would be in something. Would he do family therapy for the kids?
Your doctor's office and treatment center  should be able to help setting this up.[/quote]

OR, his is passive and reactive and this is how his Avoidant Personality defects handle life. Shutdown.

Have you noticed this pattern the last 5-20+ years when needing to make family decisions for the kids, the house, the elderly, family plans? He does nothing, doesn’t get prepared to discuss and wants nothing to do with responsibility or advocacy?

If not then this is just acute and he’ll get into gear soon.

If yes and this is chronically how he “deals with life” (ie does nothing. And doesn’t deal with life, let’s other so his job or let’s options dwindle down to 1 or nil), then you need to:

Notify your best friends, siblings and kids that you need advocates

Tell them that he, for whatever reasons, is constantly incapable of being your health advocate

Find out who has time to deal with insurance, doctors, visiting, debriefs. 
Get them involved

Change your PoA, health form releases, and wills to your capable family member of best trusted friend or adult kid

Cut him out of beneficiary things and have a trustee or children get them directly. [/quote]

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