Reply to Main breadwinner for family but need to quit because of SN child

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, it seems like you want people to tell you "Yes, if you take a year off, things will be way better and you can resume your career as before". But it just doesn't work that way. These situations are unpredictable and ever-changing, and we all just have to live with it.

What will likely make things better is:

Sorting out whatever is going on in your DH's head and in your marriage-- it really seems like that's a huge part of the problem.

Accepting some childcare help-- even if that means paying a premium for a SN-experienced nanny, and taking a very hard look at yourself to see your role in the prior nanny thing not working out.

Taking a deep breath and accepting that your DC's condition may never change no matter what you do. How would you want to live if you knew it would never change?[/quote]

Op here. We still have the nanny, I just meant it wasn’t the game changer I hoped it would be. She’s wonderful but it hasn’t substantially changed the realities of my life in a way that has made it feel do-able.[/quote]

Is she a regular nanny or an experienced special needs nanny, though? The best nannies are costly but they really can handle a lot for you. Or is it that you're not allowing her to do everything that she could do? Really look at yourself and ask if you're being flexible enough to accept help. And when you do get help, are you responding by RESTING and taking care of yourself, or are you responding by taking other things onto your own plate?

There are services that do family bookkeeping, including insurance. Perhaps that's something you could outsource. Much like taxes, a professional can get this stuff done a lot faster than the average person is able to DIY.
https://www.mypersonalbookkeeper.com/the-value-of-a-personal-bookkeeper-for-all-life-stages-peace-of-mind/[/quote]

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