Reply to How cruel is parents not paying for oldest children's college, yet paying for the youngest?

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Reply to "How cruel is parents not paying for oldest children's college, yet paying for the youngest?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So then if you couldn’t do something for one of your kids you shouldn’t do it for any?  I’m not in this boat because my older kids did not go to college. But frankly, if we were so inclined, we could do much more for our youngest than we would have been able for our older kids due to having a paid off mortgage and no longer having to pay high medical bills for one of our kids and higher incomes.

Also I was in this situation sort of. My father died when I was young and my mom had to choose which kids to support because she couldn’t support all of us. I was the one she choose not to support. It must have sucked to be her and have to choose. No resentment here. [/quote]

You can do whatever you want. But there will be blowback and consequences because the slighted person will feel hurt by the injustice and may respond in ways you don't like.

It's great that you hold no resentment. Many people understandably would. [/quote]

[b]Meh, your parents are not oppressing you so leave out the injustice talk.[/b] I had to pay for my [in state] college - immigrant parents, minimum wage jobs that didn't leave a dime to spare, and then my much younger brother got his paid for, because by that time our parents moved on to union jobs and had some money in the bank. Such is life, you can't equalize everything.[/quote]

Do you understand how financial aid works for middle and upper middle class families? It REQUIRES the parents help. 1) A teen needs access to parents' tax returns. A**hole parents could deny a child this from the get-go. 2) If you get the tax returns, FAFSA spits out an estimated family contribution (EFC), which what your parents are expected to help cover towards college expenses annually. 3) Based on that, the child will either be told to get funding from their parents or some combo of parent funding plus loans, but the parents have to co-sign any larger parent loans. The only federal loans every American kid has access to is $5,500 per year. $5,500 a year barely covers a dorm meal plan. Middle class and upper middle class parents in 2023 telling a kid they are not contributing a dime to their college totally screws the kid.[/quote]

I hope you do understand that the college calculation of "needs"/EFC is very unrealistic for most middle and upper middle class families.  If your parents don't have the money the college says they should have, here you are.  Lots of kids have to make tough choices even if their families are contributing something, so it's the same story.   [/quote]

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