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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Most people assume you'll take off Wednesday and Friday. And that you'd want everyone to be with the baby. And you'd want to spend a holiday together. 
You may not agree with any of those assumptions, but that's where your family is coming from. [/quote]
I agree with this.  Those are not wild assumptions.  If OP can’t take any time off to spend time with them she should tell them right now (should have already told them when she said they should stay in a hotel).  [b]Either she’s very stressed out or she doesn’t like her family or it’s a combo of both.[/b]  [/quote]

OP here - ding ding ding, we have a winner! [b]And I hate conflict.[/b] So here we are. [/quote]

This isn't accurate. What you hate, as a woman, is not pleasing everyone. This is because society teaches women to be accommodating and people pleasers.

There's no conflict here. There can't be conflict when one party hasn't clearly stated their position. You never said "We are not hosting Thanksgiving this year. We will see you at Christmas." [/quote]

OP here again. You are misunderstanding me. When I say I hate conflict I mean I hate having to have unpleasant conversations that will most definitely result in hurting their feelings.

I don't know why you are all placing the blame on me when I've literally done nothing to bring this upon myself. DH and I were just planning to do our own thing all along. The blame lies squarely with them for imposing. I barely ever speak 1:1 with my sister and speak to my mom once or twice a month, so she cooked up this plan in her head all by herself, booked flights for everyone and then told me after the fact, betting I wouldn't have the guts to tell them to cancel, and they were right. [/quote]

You have done something to bring this on yourself, though: When they announced the plan, you didn't say: "I hope the tickets are refundable, because we're spending Thanksgiving just the four of us this year. Things have been incredibly hectic, and we need some downtime with just us." You offered reasons that maybe it might not be a great idea for them to come, and they found ways to work around your objections.

I've had people try to invite themselves to things, and the less explanation, the better. "No, it's just going to be us" has no work-around, because once other people show up, it's not just us.[/quote]

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