Reply to How to avoid traveling to in laws every thanksgiving and Xmas

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]These threads are always sooo good.

“OP, it’s important that you tell your family to f*ck off during family holidays.  Family holidays are about you and your kids only.  No one else matters.  Forge your own traditions, which means flush tradition down the toilet.”

Then we’ll get to see you on the Adult Children forum in a decade or two lamenting that your grown kids want nothing to do with you.  Karma, baby![/quote]

I really don’t understand this perspective. Obviously things change as families change. I’m a PP who refuses to travel on Thanksgiving because my ILs live near a huge city that is a nightmare on big travel days. We tried multiple different ways to get there and it was a mess and/or insanely expensive every time. We go many but not every year for Easter and don’t run into these same problems because we have more time to work with thanks to spring break. That is just reality. My ILs are welcome to come to us but have chosen not to. Also fine! And perhaps it will change some day as my SIL has also decided that they can no longer travel there for thanksgiving.

Growing up we never spent any big holidays with my dads side of the family. He has a ton of siblings and we do big get togethers every year- one in the summer and one during the Christmas season but not on Christmas Day. I have really really special memories of all of these. My grandparents joined one kids nuclear family for Christmas Day each year. I think Thanksgiving too but I don’t remember. I know they had an open invitation to our house. My mom was always so grateful to her ILs for being flexible and coming up with these great solutions that added to the fun rather than taking away from it. In turn she’s very flexible with her own kids including us. I hope to be the same. [/quote]

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