Reply to Favoritism

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Favoritism"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My sister is the favorite of both of my parents, but I recognize that I was a very difficult child/teen. I excelled in school, was involved in clubs and sports, had lots of friends, but also suffered from anxiety (no one used that phrase in the 1970’s/80’s - my family just called me “uptight,” ha!), so in the safety of my home/around my parents and sister I had a short fuse and would get upset very quickly. In hindsight, I am sure I made home life difficult for my parents and sister, and my sister on the other hand was very easy going. [/quote]

Favorites are not always the result of one child being difficult.  Nor should it be held against that now grown adult.

Sometimes there are bullies in the families who want to create and perpetuate a false narrative - you know, the histrionic sibling who tells the stories where they are unfailingly the hero. Or the fabricated stories about who did what, when, decades ago (while carefully omitting important and accurate facts).

The sibling who was accepted to a better school, or got a better job (or any random reason) and the other sibling/s having a chip on their shoulder about that - which sometimes never goes away. The sibling that helps others, yet no good deed goes unpunished situations can be difficult, because nothing is ever (ever) good enough for certain people.

There are siblings that literally exclude other siblings, out of greed.  Heck, I have seen some petty siblings take photos at holidays, etc. and leave a sibling who was present out of the photo (and feign ignorance). Bullying can be subtle or not, and carry over from early years, as the bully refuses to grow up, and remains socially stunted.

It can sometimes be better to let the favorited sibling get their just desserts, and sit back and watch what happens. [/quote]

It’s sad to watch how favorites (many times narcissists) replicate the dynamic in their own families. I always thought once they had a second child that SIL/BIL would put limits on their first child but she just calls all the shots - other kid be damned. And no friends. No one wants to be friends with a child whose only language is relational aggression. You reap what you sow. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics