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Home Improvement, Design, and Decorating
Reply to "Need housekeeper for my hoarder young adults"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Are we actually just talking piles of clothes, OP? Or are there other things hidden and/or mixed in with the clothing? Undiscarded food, food wrappers, dirty dishes, trash….potential mice droppings, cat feces? I mean—a “housekeeper” to stay on top of the laundry is one thing, but you may first need to hire a hazmat team or call around to junk removal places.[/quote] Depends on the week. Three bedrooms and the garage full of clothes everywhere. moved from the dorm here and just sitting there since August. This time, the bathtubs were gross, but cleaned within a day by me. I took care of it. So far no vermin, but that is my fear. No food in clothing yet. I had tried to tell them I would throw everything away, but that caused some hysteric meltdowns. [/quote] Why do they have so many clothes?[/quote] DD has some mental health issues and was attacked(horrifically) in college. She buys impulsively when she feels bad thinking it will make her feel better.[/quote] Then she is not well enough to work so many hours that she doesn’t have time for therapy.[/quote] You don't understand much about mental illness do you, poster? Workaholism is one of the primary modes by which abused people sublimate all the destructive feelings they have from their trauma. It's also the most socially acceptable and least destructive to others. It is not for any one of us to dictate the timeline by which someone else of us travels the therapeutic process with post traumatic stress disorder. The traumas that people are experiencing ongoing destructive stress over are ones which revisiting can cause very serious consequences to the psyche. She will get there when she gets there and while her compulsive shopping disorder isn't great, if she can afford it then it is what it is and someday it will mean lots of nice things at the local thrift stores for frugal shoppers when the DD is well enough to purge her hoard of clothing. Meantime OP they need weekly housekeeping and you should use all positive means available to you to encourage your daughter on the path of ptsd treatment/recovery. Maybe she needs a new therapist? Or a new approach, there are great tools to be learned in DBT. I hope you have some sense that she isn't bankrupting herself with the compulsive shopping.[/quote] OP here. Thank you so much for your kind post and understanding. I am truly in a state of constant stress myself as every phone call might be about her doing something destructive or having another serious breakdown. She told me that her boyfriend texted her to get a grip...and she cut him off. One part of me is so proud of her, and the other part wonders if she will ever be able to have a functional relationship. And honestly, maybe I am overreacting, but the bathtub definitely looked like a mental illness issue, more than the clothes. I do no think a fully functioning person would allow the bathtub to get that way. Being a slob runs on DH's side of the family. I say this without any malice, it is just a fact. DD also is thrifting, and now that she earns money we are not giving her money.[/quote]
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