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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thank you all, particularly the PP with the long and detailed response.

For anyone interested spectators (my usual role in the relationship forum), i don’t know if there’s someone else. I would have said that it’s impossible 6 months ago, but now I’m wondering. I don’t care enough to find out. I don’t think it impacts anything.

I guess my biggest fears are all financial. I don’t have a ton in non-retirement savings, partly because of the way DH likes to like and spend. I was thinking that I need time to get a career re-started and feel like I’d be on firm ground financially, but maybe that’s exactly wrong from a divorce proceedings perspective?

I’m most worried about the impact on the kids (teens).

And when i say ‘growing apart’ i mainly mean that we are well past the giddy stage and I’m getting too worn out by our lives to kiss his butt. It’s never that simple of course, but mainly it seems like he’s tired of the kids being prioritized over him and maybe he’s found someone who’s more attentive?  It would be hard to find someone less attentive i guess. We don’t really fight or anything, we just are going about our daily lives fairly separately. [/quote]

Were you having intimacy?  Date nights?  Did you enjoy any of your time together?

I’ve noticed sometimes women are fine with a sort of independent/roommate lifestyle and it’s the man who is miserable, missing sex, missing intimacy, missing emotional connection.[/quote]

In most cases it’s the man who ignores and neglects his wife and kids in order to focus on work and hide out there. He never talks much with any of them, not gets involved.

Then the wife who gets all the responsibilities dumped on her for the family, house, yard, and kids resents that but has to solo power through it all.

One day, the absent-Husband/father talks with some friends who have fun lives and he realizes, “Hey, no one’s kissing my @$$ at home or talking with me much.”

He goes home, says nothing but doesn’t get why he’s ignored or doesn’t know what’s going on with everyone’s lives.

He decides he’s a victim; no one likes him so it’s time to divorce and go start over w no kids. He never sees how he ignored everyone and his responsibilities for years and then got treated the same back.

Either way, good riddance to phony deadweights. [/quote]

This is spot on.

The divorces I know had AWOL husbands who 12-15 years in to having kids he totally ignored except for photo ops, up and started behaving mean and nasty at home. He was angry he had no relationship or connection with his wife or kids. He quickly blamed the wife and asked for the divorce. All three were too lazy to file and harassed and verbally abused the wife until she did.

And he turned around and told everyone they “grew apart.”

Gosh. I wonder how and why.[/quote]

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