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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you're on anti-depressants and you are that miserable...

... you won't be very happy elsewhere, OP.

Moving is not a magic pill. You're trying to run away from yourself. Fix what's wrong instead, and if you want, you can also move. But treat the two separately, because they are separate. I think your husband understands this about you, hence his moving the goalposts - which, BTW, isn't cool either. But he probably can't articulate what's wrong with your scenario because he's too close to the situation.[/quote]

I am in a similar situation to OP and one problem is that the DMV has gotten so expensive that fixing other things is harder here than it would be in a place that was more affordable. The COL in this area, combined with not really liking it generally, is what winds up making you feel trapped.

Our current home is expensive, but at least locked in at a lower rate. But housing in the area is so much more expensive now even than when we bought that we can't just move neighborhoods or houses and improve our situation that way.

Renovations are expensive everywhere now but even more so in the DMV which limits our ability to improve our existing home to make it work better for us.

Many, many healthcare (including mental healthcare) specialists in this area simply do not take insurance, which can challenge our ability to address health factors that may be impacting overall happiness. It took me 2 years of looking to find a therapist who is in network, for instance. Two years!

Going out is expensive, hiring a babysitter is expensive, so spending more time on our relationship can be hard, or just getting a break from our kids. Plus so much of our income is caught up in housing that stuff like date night feels like a luxury we can't really afford.

ALL of that would be easier if we could move to a lower COL city. There are cities where we have family and friends, but housing costs 50-60% of what it does here. We could buy a larger home in a better school boundary and still have more money leftover to plug into savings (financial security can be hugely beneficial to well being), taking care of our health, and investing in our relationship.

I think the cost of living in DC is probably the #1 reason you see so many people like me, OP, and others on this thread who want to leave. And I'm betting there are a lot of people who, like me, moved here when it was considered an affordable alternative to other major cities, and have watched cost of living multiply rapidly in that time, and the math just doesn't work anymore given our jobs and incomes.[/quote]

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