Reply to Do you feel marital money is truly equal?

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Reply to "Do you feel marital money is truly equal?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I'm also a SAHM with a high-earning husband. However, it's his parent who might need financial assistance, not mine. We often commiserate over his parent making poor decision after poor decision. At the end of the day, though, we have the money, and we wouldn't let a parent, even one who was personally irresponsible, not be cared for just to make a point or stick it to them or whatever.

I only earned income for 8 years so my retirement account is only $150k from that, but we've put money in a Roth IRA for me as well, so our accounts are about equal. And we get the same amount of fun money that can be spent on whatever, which I like. I definitely don't feel like it's his money and my money, though. When we got married I had a nice nest egg and no debt, and I out-earned him until the last year I worked. So we had the precedent where he relied more on me financially in the beginning; I think that helped lay the foundation for viewing things as joint.

OP, you said you don't like having to ask and negotiate about your parents' care, but wouldn't you do that for any large expenditure? You didn't say that he says no, just that you don't like the stress of the conversation, if I'm reading it right? My advice is to focus less on what you assume his tone or attitude is (because those can be misconstrued) and focus on his actions. If he's willing to pay for the care but he's going to be grumpy about it, well that's understandable . . . it's OK to be grumpy that adults didn't prepare for their own end of life needs. But that's a different issue than him acting like it's his money instead of joint money, though to be fair you might have both problems on your hands for all we know. [/quote]

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