Reply to Any downsides to not being in the popular group if a kid is happy?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My DD is in an intermediate grade at a K-8 school. For years she was on the fringes of a friend group that was mostly girls from one of the fancier neighborhoods that the school attracts students from, and a lot of those girls come from very privileged families. They also run their kids' social lives through high school and beyond and have a lot of social capital on our community.

We are definitely still privileged but at a different level, and we are mixed race so we never quite fit in with the rich people who share my ethnicity or the super social people who share DH's ethnicity. I was honestly relieved when DD started to find a small group of true friends who really get her and who are more on the fringes of things. They're smart girls who do a variety of activities, and they have parents from all different backgrounds who are similar to my DH and I in terms caring about academics without being competitive, having rules about social media, etc.

My question is this: is there any downside from not being in the "in" or socially powerful group as long as a kid has friends, feels confident and is happy? For example, my DD doesn't do school activities like theater, so I'm not worried about her not getting picked for the play because she doesn't have the same social capital as other kids. But I do wonder if teachers use popularity as a proxy for confidence or competence and if it will affect things like letters of recommendation for HS applications, middle school course selection, or leadership projects. [/quote]

why is this a thing? you are not in rural america.  you are not trapped by the most powerful in your micro community.  get out.[/quote]

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