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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It’s FIL’s money and he brought the issue up with his son, not with you. Stay in your lane. This literally has nothing to do with you. It is FIL’s money and he want his SON’S counsel on what td do now.[/quote]

+1  I'm not going to pretend this dynamic wouldn't p*ss me off, because it definitely would, but you cannot insert yourself.  You can have a conversation with DH about how FIL's enabling is not helping SIL, and you do not want to be her enabler once FIL is gone, but the inheritance question itself is beyond you and you should treat it as such.[/quote]

Yes all of this.

OP, we have a similar situation.  SIL takes takes takes and my DH has always been self sufficient. As such, his parents have given tens of thousands of dollars to his sister over the years and nothing to him.  Occasionally I feel pretty angry about how they treat him, even outside of money.  They often act like he's an idiot when he is the one who has always supported himself.

But.  I put that aside.  His parents don't have a ton of money, and they will most likely leave SIL and her kid much more than they leave my DH and his kids.  That part I can make my peace with, though it feels unfair to be punished for being responsible. It's not life changing money in any world.  BUT: the one line I have repeated over and over and over is that once his parents are gone, and the money is spent (she will spend every dime within a few years) it ends there.  I will not give her money down an endless pit.  My DH agrees with me, so that's the end of it for us until this all plays out.

I do think about how his sister will probably shift and start asking for support from her child in the coming years, but that's also not my problem.[/quote]

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