Reply to when the grandparents leave

Forum Index » Eldercare

Reply to "when the grandparents leave"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Not only do grandparents tend to be older now, what is seen as good parenting has become more and more intensive over time. This means that 
1. Current grandparents are happier to be out of the parenting role because they did more for and with their kids than their parents had to do. Many of the current grandparents were the first in the family with the mom working and raising kids,  no wonder they are tired.
2. It also means that it’s harder for grandparents to take care of todays kids. [b]My mom sent us to grandma’s house for the weekend, but my grandma didn’t have to watch us as intensely as kids get now. We’d go play in The neighborhood; much easier for my grandma, who in Todays world might be expected to play games and engage the kids the whole time.[/b]

3. Also means that todays parents need more help because this expectation of intensive parenting is really hard. [/quote]
X1000! Kidnappings are incredibly rare today compared to the 1980s but parents today are enraged at the thought 5yos+ playing outside by themselves.

My grandmother was the same way. She had things to do in the house so as kids we were turned outside after breakfast and then after lunch to play. And we had a blast. We didn’t need adults or technology to engage us because we had imaginations.

Also, read this forum and the million posts about how incompetent older people are. It’s amazing the complaints fellow Millenials have about their parents but then in the same breath whine that their parents won’t help care for grandkids. [/quote]

Yea I think the issue is sort of you reap what you sow.  Like I know exactly how much help my mom provided and I’ll return the favor.  And it wasn’t insignificant!  But I owe her a couple weeks here and there about 5 times.  And not for any emergencies.[/quote]

My parents were not really able to travel when we had young kids. Once I was struck by the flu with 14 month old twins and DH out of the country for work. He tried to get his younger and much more able bodied mom with total control over her schedule to come but she refused to do it because she was "there for the fun stuff, not this drudgery." I have now helped her out a few times with "this drudgery" over the last few years between her health issues as well as FiL's. I can't help but think about her refusing to come, but push on as my now deceased parents would expect me to do this for someone in need. I also want to model that behavior for my now much older kids. [/quote]

I would talk to her about it. If you aren't able to let it go then you owe it to yourself to clear the air. It's likely not going to change anything but you won't feel like you stuffed it down f9r the rest of your/her life.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics