Reply to What are the cons to not finding out the gender?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think people who don't find out are often expecting a special moment where the doctor says, "It's a _______.". But both of my babies' births were unexpectedly traumatic with dozens of people in the room, yelling, and a blue, limp non-breathing baby who is hustled to the NICU.  I was also at risk with heavy bleeding, so far from completely lucid.

We had the doctor write down the gender after NIPT and put it in an envelope.  We opened it over dinner and got to celebrate together.  Then we sent blue or pink flowers to the grandparents and great grandparents, who called us so so happily when they received the news.

We didn't get a ton of overly gendered presents.  We were having a girl, so one aunt made a few sweet baby dresses by hand.  Another great aunt made a sweet baby quilt with pink, blue and yellow flowers.

I really hate all of the guessing conversations that seem to come when someone doesn't find out the gender.  It always seems to be the only thing anyone wants to talk about, when it's the least of the life change that is happening.[/quote]

My birth was unexpectedly traumatic and we [i]still[/i] got the special moment when DH told me "It's a girl."  He told me later it was the best moment of his life, which I was a little surprised by (he wanted to find out earlier, although he didn't feel strongly about it).  I'm truly sorry your births went terribly and what you're describing sounds terrifying, but I don't really understand what that has to do with finding out the sex before or at birth.[/quote]

I think it could be relevant for op as a con if one of the big pros for her is picturing the big reveal at birth and it being super special. I’m so glad it was for you, but I had a friend who waited and had a traumatic first birth and didn’t have the moment she hoped for. She ended up finding out for future pregnancies.

I think the downside is just that it CAN for some feel very connecting to find out. It was for me for both pregnancies. And it is just a lot of fun. But it will be fun any time! I totally can see ir being so special at birth (though I also had two babies to the NICU so think I also would have been not very concerned with the sex)

I personally think this is TOTALLY a personality thing and if you’re someone that thrives living in the gray then great go for it! Like another poster said you would ace the marshmallow test and I would not!! :) [/quote]

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