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Reply to "parenting plan - what you wish you had included or really great provisions that you wish you had included"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don’t understand how these parenting plans work. Who exactly checks on an ex to see if he indeed doesn’t have guns? And, if he’s allowed by the government to have guns, how can the desires of another person, one who is no longer a legal family member trump his rights? Same for a smoke alarm, who checks that yes, the ex has been a good boy nd replaced them? What prevents the checker from lying or not understanding what they’re looking at?  Who decides if a girlfriend is sketchy? Who sorts out if the dad really did leave the kid with the girlfriend or if the kid and girlfriend were very happy say playing chess and the dad went to the grocery store? What’s to prevent the girlfriend from saying “I’m not bound by this parenting agreement, the kid really likes chess as do I, his dad said he’s fine if we play, and oh I’m an adult, I can sleep with whoever wants to sleep with me, you can’t restrict me because I just so happen to be dating the kid’s dad”  Also, why would anybody sign a contract stipulating what they can’t do with their own kid? Marriage you at least like the person so you may put up with things that otherwise you wouldn’t.  I wonder if this is a legal fiction to keep the lawyers in business, the more you deal with them, the more you pay.
My advice op is that you talk to the people who have successful parenting plans. You say you’ve seen some work and some not, so talk to those people. 
I have no idea why you didn’t divorce sooner and what you now don’t like about the man who is still your husband, just know that whatever makes him behave won’t be a factor when you are no longer married. I also wonder about these special needs, it seems like whenever a woman doesn’t like her husband, time for a kid to get special needs so mom has more control then she would otherwise. All of us have special needs to some extent or other. I’m also not sure it’s fair to judge someone’s behavior when you put them in a state of limbo, he’s still a married man but you don’t want him anymore, yet for whatever reason he hasn’t said “Then we start divorce tomorrow”. The way it is now, he can’t plan, he can’t date anybody worth dating, he’s kind of waiting for you to.. what exactly? That isn’t nice. Fine not to like him, maybe he truly is unsafe, but you married him and put up with him and then stalled on the divorce which makes me wonder how bad things really are.      
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I thought about trying to be helpful and respond to some concerns at first...then you just kept going, and threw in a dumb crack about kids with special needs. So at this point, I'm assuming you started drinking early for the weekend or something.[/quote]

DP here
But the pp you quoted brings up some good points.   If the parent is otherwise legally allowed to own a weapon (no felonies, lives in an area it's legal, etc.) there's nothing to really prevent them from owning one.  The gun shop isn't going to ask to see divorce/child custody agreement paperwork before selling a gun.
Even if both parents agree at the time of the divorce that they don't want guns around their kid(s), people's opinions change over time.[/quote]

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