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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here--thanks for the input, all. (And I do enjoy being called both nasty and a doormat, lol.)

DH definitely is the messenger on all of this, though we discuss together before he engages. I think the real issue is that we've run out of productive ideas and know it's really in my ILs hands of how they want to deal with our preferences/requests. I'm

That said, I really like the "12 days of Christmas" frame! I admit having my kids wake up at home on Christmas morning is important to us, but I wonder if we could simply offer to fly to see them on the 26th or whatever for a few days before NYE. Seems like a simple solution that I should have thought of by now. Thanks![/quote]

It's a good plan to *generally* move toward visiting them just after Christmas. One recommendation I have is to not lock yourselves into a "we will always do it this way" framework given the rigidity it sounds like your inlaws bring to these discussions. Kids get older, jobs and schedules change, and what works now might now work in a few years. [/quote]

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