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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My in-laws demand to have Christmas with us every year, and I really do mean demand. One year when we proposed getting together at Thanksgiving as opposed to Christmas due to some unavoidable business travel that was going to make the end of December stressful on our end, his parents accused us of intentionally hurting them and requested we put in writing that they would be able to come up for every Christmas in the future. (We did not do that because we both thought it was absolutely insane.)

DH isn't an only child, but he is the only one with kids. My ILs do not see any of their other kids for other holidays.

I do try to give them some grace because we live near my parents and they've seemed jealous of that relationship on occasion. On the other hand, they are objectively tough guests to host. Don't pick up after themselves, don't want to leave the house to go sightseeing or whatever with us, and have even booked their tickets without checking dates with us in advance some years. They've also ignored our requests to check with us before buying presents for the kids, which has caused some headaches to boot.

We've thought that maybe if we could find times to see them outside the stress of Christmas, it would make for a more comfortable visit around Christmas. But when we've asked to get together over the summer or what-have-you for a weekend, they've either ignored us or otherwise only attempted to do so on exclusively their terms. For example, one time my MIL booked a cabin in Georgia without checking the dates (or location) with us and then was mad that we couldn't make the trip work. And when I once asked if they'd like to make Easter a standing holiday where we'd all travel to them, etc. they told us they typically have other commitments that weekend so it wouldn't work for their schedules.

Otherwise, DH has tried talking to his parents but the conversations have not been productive. It all feels a bit exhausting. My husband and I both dread Christmas as a result, which kind of sucks, [b]but we also want to make sure our kids have the opportunity to have a relationship with both sets of grandparents.[/b] DH and I have tried to figure out how to make this situation less of a PIA but have run out of ideas.

Has anyone navigated something like this before? [/quote]

Why would you want your kids to have a relationship with people like this? I'd cut them out.[/quote]

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