Reply to Want to ask my brother how he protects my nieces from creepy stepdad

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Did you tell your mother that you were sexually abused by her husband? Did she believe you? Something doesn’t make sense here. If she believed you there is no way she would stay married to a man who abused her daughter. [/quote]
I know someone whose husband RAPED her 8 year old DD, went to PRISON for it and when he got out of prison, she took him back! Utter insanity. [/quote]

I truly cannot understand this mentality. [/quote]

Unfortunately, it is more common than you might guess.

OP, do you see your nieces in person? If so, I might focus there if I were you, on being a safe person they can come to, on talking about boundaries, not keeping secrets, etc. You cannot control your brother's behavior or his or SIL's choices.

If you don't see them in person, I'd try to build and maintain relationships with them. Unless that is not possible for you at this time due to anxiety around their visits with SF. I'd consider SIA linked above and therapeutic support for yourself (and not all MH pros are comfortable or effective re: these issues, so you may need to try a few) so you can manage your feelings around having spoken up and it still not being enough to protect other kids. Once you have tools to manage that, I'd consider contact with nieces.

Your brother not only brought his kids there, they stayed there. So nothing he is going to say is going to assuage your anxiety or PTSD reaction re: powerlessness and voice not being heard. If you are able to work to get to a place where you can be in contact with the kids and manage your anxiety you can keep an eye on them. If you are not able to do so, then distance for your own mental health. If you continue to raise with B, he may distance so access to the kids for you may not be an option. [/quote]

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