Reply to If I wait to tell my parents about my DD's possible diagnosis until after formal diagnosis will it blow up in my face

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Reply to "If I wait to tell my parents about my DD's possible diagnosis until after formal diagnosis will it blow up in my face"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You can't build your life around around your mother's personality disorder. Do what's right for your kid. [/quote]

This is the correct answer. [b]Even though you've probably already built your life around it for decades. [/b]But you can at least not build your child's life around it.[/quote]

OP here - I'm curious, what do you mean by this? I don't doubt that my relationship with my mother is unhealthy in many ways. I'd love to hear an outsider's perspective. I don't know what it is like to have a different type of mother.[/quote]

PP here, and I meant it empathetically. Both my parents have serious mental health issues and there are aspects of my life that were structured around those issues for decades, and to an extent still are. I would also worry about how they would respond to news like this, and how best to tell them, and brace myself for their responses, because I am conditioned to always think first of their emotional needs before even the health and well being of my child (or me). I have to work to set aside that impulse do that I can focus on my kid or myself.

I know people whose parents don't have these kind of issues, and they would not worry about how the news would impact their parents. They'd share it when it felt right and seek support, and their parents are mature people who would offer live and support instead of making it all about them.

I aspire to be like those parents.[/quote]

OP here. I appreciate your concern. I actually have spent most of my energy since the consultation (a couple of weeks ago) that triggered the search for the assessment worrying and thinking about the health and well-being of my child. I didn't post about that here because this is the wrong forum for that.[/quote]

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