Reply to Tell me I’m not the only one who’s husband is this infuriating

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I divorced one of these.  Mine was a narcissist.  A "crazy-maker" who would do this crap and when I finally had it, he would stop at nothing to make me look nuts.[/quote]

If they do it all the time, about every little thing, then yes, end it. But if OP is saying this is THE one thing that gets on her last nerve, and he is otherwise OK to good and does not require constant reminding -- then no, your solution does not need to be OP's solution too.

To OP: One: At a time when you have not just asked him again to do the one chore, a time when he is not peeved at you and you are not resenting him (and I agree, you're right to be pi$$ed), talk to him and point out that the issue is not merely the fact the trash can is full; the bigger issue is the way he turns this back on you Every. Single. Time. and says it's your own fault the trash doesn't go out.

Then do one of two things:

Find some other chore that becomes "his" that he might do with less of this childishness, and you take over the trash; or

Both of you decide: How often should the trash go out? I know, "when it's full," but clearly that's not working for you both. Decide on the opitimal times (twice each week, one of those being the night before garbage pickup, maybe?) then he sets a reminder on his phone. An alarm that goes off at a time he chooses, and a second reminder alarm a few minutes later. Tell him that putting the trash chore in the "hands" of something objective like an alarm takes it out of your hands and his too. It's just less personal. The clock dictates it, not either of you. He likely will fuss and fume the first few times and insist he's in the middle of something else but it's worth a try. I'd remind him that he can have a pi$$ed wife or he can let a clock take the blame. This worked for us with a different type of chore and made it all less personal.

If your DH does this stuff all the time and you're only using this as one example, well, you need some larger system for chores plus some work on communications . [/quote]

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