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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Is this petty to tell costs to a date? "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you have the money and you are going to enjoy the show, why wouldn’t you pay? Why does he need to pay all the time? [/quote] OP here: my approach is that the asker pays during dating. Same with my friends and family. I find it a huge turn off each paying own way, Venmo costs etc. particular since both of us can easily afford the costs. If in a committed relationship I don’t mind splitting all costs pro-rata incomes. He might be dating younger women and paying for them, I won’t be the one who splits the check that early on. We’ve only seeing each other 3 weeks; had sex already so not playing him. But he’s on OLD obviously chatting with other women. I’m not going out with other guys after we slept but I didn’t tell him. Just don’t want to. [/quote] I find that most grown ups split the costs from the get go. It doesn't matter who asked. It doesn't have to be a Venmo type situation. One time he pays the next time you pay. I find this princess type behavior from women very strange and immature. I'm a woman BTW. By your own admission you probably make more than he does so why not pay? I like to set the tone early on that we will be equal in everything. He isn't courting me. We are dating. [/quote] OP here. I did reciprocate -cooked a really nice dinner with expensive wine for him; took him to my club on a guest pass which is about same cost as his suggested venue. I never even told him I paid for the pass, just uncomfortable. All dates were low cost for him (couple drinks and us sharing an appetizer). No I don’t expect to be treated like a princess but at the same time I don’t want to read texts that drinks cost $15 whenever he invites me. Yes, it’s a huge romantic turn off for me. When he’s around I still feel sexual but when not, I don’t miss him romantically as much as before sex. [/quote] He sounds totally reasonable to me. It's still early on and he is not investing a ton of money on dates. That's reasonable when you're dating several people. Did he actually text you "drinks cost $15" or did he just text about the expensive concert? One is cheap, I agree, if you reciprocated in kind with a nice dinner at your club. But concerts can be extremely expensive. You could just say no to the concert and leave it at that.[/quote] And I did say no to a concert, and will say no to a concert he suggests this weekend. But it will be a month in soon we see each other several times a week, talk on the phone daily which [b]all takes my time and emotions[/b]. I would rather [b]spend weekends with my loved ones and family not being consumed by thoughts about a cheap guy[/b], or thinking what he or I did wrong to forego an interesting activity. Yes he actually texted “drinks are $15”. I’m leaning towards just telling him I have no bandwidth for a relationship at this time and suggest to meet for sex once a week at my place without sleepover. I do need sex and his good in it. Don’t see why we can’t sleep once in a while safely, until one of us meets a better match. [/quote] Lady, that's what dating is. It takes time and emotions. Are you new at this? If you'd rather be with friends and family then do that. You owe him nothing. A month of dating (or screwing around) is nothing. He isn't being cheap. He is being smart. Next time maybe be smart too.[/quote]
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