Reply to Do you let your children call adults by their first names?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Oh man, this hits home.  I was raised in Texas and would NEVER have done such a thing, it was like spitting in someone's eye.  Now I live here and friends of DH's have taught their 6 year old to call me "Jenny" - no Ms., no Larla's mom - and every. single. time. my initial reaction is "wtf did you just say???"

The kid is doing nothing wrong because her parents literally told her to call adults by their names.  But I cannot get over how upset it makes me, and it makes me think the kid is a brat even though she is obeying her mom and dad.

So no, I don't let my kid do that, not at this tender age.  If she grows into a bratty teen who tries it out to test boundaries I won't be shocked, but a little kid is not on par with an adult and it's weird and off-putting to pretend otherwise.[/quote]

So, given that you're upset, I assume you asked her to call you Mrs. High-and-Mighty and she refused, right? Because obviously if you have a legitimate reason to use a particular title you wouldn't hesitate to correct others.

Did she give a reason why she won't use the title? [/quote]

No, because her mom told her in front of me to call me Jenny.  So I'm trapped in a situation where I'm either gainsaying a parent to their child, or listening to a kid obey their parent even though it makes me deeply uncomfortable.  The polite thing to do is to suck it up, not make everyone else uncomfortable.  But I get that someone who thinks basic courtesy is "high-and-mighty" might be lost in this interaction.  [/quote]

It's your name. If the mother mispronounced your name, would you similarly feel like you couldn't correct her because you'd be contradicting her?[/quote]

A mispronunciation is not the same as explicit behavioral instruction from the parent.  If she pronounced my name incorrectly it would be a mistake, not a parenting choice.  I would have no problem correcting a mistake, but as you can see by the posters here trying to pathologize my feelings, parenting choices are not open to correction in the same way.  It's not my place to parent this kid, or to impose my standards on their family.  They are well within their rights to tell their kid this is appropriate, and the fact that it's going to be received as appropriate by some and inappropriate by others is just the way things go.  Like I tell my kids: different families have different rules.

The same way the poster upthread thinks Ms. Lauren, which is my default instruction for my kids, is weirdly Southern Maiden Aunt and the worst of all available options.  You can't please everyone, and I'm not jumping down her throat for having a different reaction.  [/quote]

You think the other parent knows you want others to use the Mrs. title, and intentionally instructed her child otherwise? What makes you so sure it wasn't a mistake, and that she honestly didn't know your preferences?[/quote]

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