Reply to I don’t understand how people claim the affair partner is blameless?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Both of them suck. I'm always amazed by the apologists.

I had a really, really crappy college boyfriend who cheated on me a ton (and told me it was on me to get over it! Nice!)

In my last year of college, I moved to DC for a semester internship  - and kind of had a rebirth (dated guys who I wouldn't typically date, hung out with people outside my typical social circle, etc).  For a brief one month period, I dated a guy with a girlfriend back home in Europe. I can tell you what was in my headspace: That someone had treated me so badly for 3 years that it was awesome to be the one with the power in the relationship and know I was helping f someone else over.

It's probably the least moral thing I've ever done, and just something I needed to get out of my system (and absolutely did make me feel better about my dating health). I met DH a few months later, and 25 years later we have (and have always had) an extremely healthy relationship.

But when I think about APs and being blameless... yeah, I just think back briefly to where my head was for that one month, and yeah it's clear that APs deserve almost as much blame as the cheater.  [/quote]

So hurt people hurt people? [/quote]

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