Reply to "Your spouse should handle the ILs" Why?

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Reply to ""Your spouse should handle the ILs" Why? "

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, take 30 seconds to think this through.

I highly doubt you’ve ever seen a thread that—out of nowhere—instructs everyone not to deal with their ILs. If there is a thread doing that, please link to it. That’s something I’d like to see.

Nope, that’s not what happens. What happens is a poster writes about a specific problem or dynamic that she or he is having with her specific ILs. Posters then, circumstantially, advise the poster to let the spouse deal with his or her parents.

Key word: circumstantial.

Do you get it?[/quote]

This is true. In healthy families they are able to accept and enjoy the spouse and boundaries that are set are accepted and respected. It's usually takes drama for people to have to decide "you deal with your crazy family."

There are some people where the daughter in law says "I'm so sorry, that weekend doesn't work for us. Could you do x, y or z weekend for a visit instead" and the MIL says "sure, how about y" and nobody gives it a second thought and life goes on. Then there are the inlaws where such a request turns into endless back and forth by text, angry calls, family gossip and suddenly DIL is a selfish B ruining the family. That's the case where to protect your spouse from abuse, you deal with your own family and make it clear these dramatics are not welcome.[/quote]

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