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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Not sure if this has been covered, but OP you can try viewing this as the ultimate high compliment to your mom that your dad wants to date again.
For men who felt loved and cherished and enjoyed the companionship of their wives, it is very hard for them to picture continuing on without this feeling for the rest of their lives. It’s because he loved your mom so much and their life together was so fulfilling that he wants to feel close to someone in that way again.
Whoever he dates or ends up with will not take your mom’s place and he knows that. But your mom loved this man before you came into the picture and she would likely want him to find some semblance of happiness and not be lonely for the rest of his life.[/quote]

I think the reality is that when older men remarry, it's because they have no experience being on their own. There may also be rosy romantic feelings about the relationship he had with his deceased wife, but it's a lot about not being alone because they never have been. My parents divorced, so I have really different parent problems. But my grandfather remarried a year after my grandmother died, and it was really hard for my mom. There were things that made it easier, like the new wife was not a totally horrible person, was age appropriate, didn't try to have a fake relationship with any of us. But there were also things that made it harder, like when they decided to sell their former marital homes and buy a condo - totally appropriate decision for them, but hard for my mom to see her childhood home being sold so her dad.

FWIW, that marriage lasted for about 18 months before they separated. It turns out that new wife hadn't been anywhere near as accommodating of my grandfather's weird hobbies (HAM radio and math, recreationally) and he didn't like being married to her. So they separated, and he bought his own condo and learned how to live independently. He's in his early 90s now, still living on his own. We live in the same city and see him once a month, sometimes more. He's active in the community in various ways and has a pretty full life. I think that what his remarriage taught him was that he didn't really want to be with anyone else, so he just built the life he wanted on his own. [/quote]

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