Reply to Anyone else just stop initiating or asking for sex from their partner?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m 5 months into married celibacy; I’m going to wait until it gets to a year then I will [b]attempt to make myself happy[/b]. Five separate offers for counseling and I’ve done everything possible to clean up my side of the street but there’s no interest.  7 months to go![/quote]

Affair? Or divorce?[/quote]

Affair usually indicates lying, I’m not going to lie, I’m not looking to hurt anyone by throwing it in their face[b] but surely there is someone out there in the same predicament where life isn’t so horrible it warrants disrupting your children but it isn’t good enough to go on without change.[/b] [/quote]

Hahaha!  I had this EXACT same reasoning, and as an attractive woman, I found a man who appealed to me incredibly easily.

It was so terrible.  I do NOT recommend.  Tell your spouse you can’t go on like this and see if they still refuse counseling.  Your integrity matters.[/quote]

I’m sure there are limitless possibilities to have an arrangement like this blow up in your face but what was it specifically that made it so terrible?
[/quote]

Well, what is interesting I guess is that it did not really blow up in my face, but I still think it was a terrible thing to do and a terrible experience.  The emotional turmoil was too much.

For one thing, I could not handle the guilt.  I felt what I was doing was wrong but the validation I got from the other man was so addictive.  I had rationalized that we both deserved some happiness from each other.  The high was like being on drugs I think.  But I constantly felt terrible about it.  There was no way for me to know that he and his wife were in a sexless marriage, even though I was.  He was lying to her, why wouldn’t he lie to me?  And then breaking up with the other man was so terrible.  I was falling in love with him and imagining a life with him, and I knew that could never happen.  I still have lingering feelings for him and fantasize about him.  It was all so so stupid.

DH forgave me and we are working on our marriage.  There was no blow up or humiliation.  We have sex a lot now:  But I hate that I did something like that.[/quote]

That sounds a little too easy. Your DH just forgave you for falling in love and having sex with another man and now he’s fine with it all? [/quote]

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