Reply to Desperate plea for help with my 4 year old DD

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Reply to "Desperate plea for help with my 4 year old DD"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
She is completely uncooperative with: getting dressed, going to the potty when it wasn't her idea (ie: if its bedtime or we're leaving the house), getting undressed, getting in carseat, getting on sunscreen, picking up toys, coming to the meal table.  
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Getting Dressed - Give her 2 choices. She can decide between the two, or you can make the choice for her.

Going Potty - Give her 2 choices - Either she goes potty or she gets a diaper.

Picking up Toys - Either she picks them up, or you do and they go away.

Table to Eat - Either she comes to the table to eat or she doesn't eat. She won't go hungry, she'll most likely miss a meal (or two if she's really stubborn).

I totally agree with this.  Where you said you always redirected- HOW does that teach a child to make CONSCIOUS good decisions?  It teaches them that if they get out of line, mom will kindly come over and steer them toward something else upon which to wreak havoc.  It sounds like she needs total boot camp- and I'd begin just as this PP said- 2 choices.  This works from age 18 mos on.  Do you want carrots or apple or none?   Do you want the pink shirt or the white shirt or I pick?   One story or no stories?  They get the message that YOU are in charge and that they have LIMITED control, which is what you want.

You are the parent, you've given her FAR too much control. She's 4. Yes she should be given the privilege of making some decisions, but ultimately you are the parent - you have final say.[/quote][/quote]

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