Reply to Dh has stopped pretending to care and it’s a real bummer

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As the breadwinner wife with a crazy stressful job, I used to completely stress out about my job all the time, break down crying, etc.  DH told me "it'll be fine, you just should quit, you'll find something better" but he didn't like, send me job listings or anything.  I cycled through these same motions for ~4 years before I finally changed jobs, and was completely freaked out by what downsizing our income might mean.  Over those 4 years he stopped really responding as much to my freakouts.  Why would he?  He couldn't move the needle on my anxiety, he had already "said all the right things," and it must have just felt like I didn't really ever plan to make a change.

And when I did make a change, everything was fine.  Just like he said it would be, but I had such a hard time believing (not because he's unsupportive, because of financial anxiety that predates my marriage).  I know you're overwhelmed right now, and if he seems not to be overwhelmed it's easy to make it his fault.  But is it really his fault you haven't left your job?  Honestly.[/quote]

I have a similar story.  When you are the person who has to make the change and are full of angst, it's hard for the other person to ever say or do the right thing.  Basically I wanted my husband to be more angsty so I could be less.  But that's just not how life works.[/quote]

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