Reply to Dh has stopped pretending to care and it’s a real bummer

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sounds like your husband is either tired of your behavior or is realizing that you’re asking an awful lot with no guarantee that if you get what you want, you’ll be happy. You want to uproot your kids and live where exactly? There is no magical land of inexpensive housing, that is comfortable, close to stuff you all like, and has enough space set up in a way you’ll like.  There is no magical place with good schools, wholesome activities and bosses that put your family first.

As an aside, I’ve never met anybody who downsized and been happy, that doesn’t mean that you need or want the biggest and best, just that a 4 bedroom townhouse is very different then a 4 bedroom single family, and very few people can adjust the way they think they can, parking or noise or lack of light or lack of outdoor space will upset them. Neighbors can impact you in a townhouse in a way they simply can’t in a single family. Things in the house will still break and need replacement, the house fairy isn’t going to come along and replace the roof, not unless you pay a roofer. Do you realize any of this? 
You may have savings now, but you won’t for very long if you quit your job with nothing else lined up.

Are you prepared to deal with the emotional impact to your kids? They probably worried more about you with cancer then you know as did your husband. They, both your husband and kids, probably just want to have a normal year, do things they want, maybe a vacation, a festival, in other words the energy, money, and time you’d spend moving can be spent or not spent having fun and enjoying each other. 
Y
Our kids too are at a point where they are forming friendships. Yes, they can make new friends, but that isn’t as easy as it seems even for the most sociable kids. Humans aren’t interchangeable parts. 
Not all places have the same types of activities. My kids have expressed an interest in the Young Eagles program which requires an airport, usually  regional airport that you can easily get to for meetings and activities. They exist but not all places have them. One area may have a great Scout program, the place you move to may have a miserable one or one that is inactive. Some schools have a very active involved pta, which leads to fun family events and community involvement, others don’t and unless you are a dynamo it isn’t always possible to “be the change you want to see”.

I’m with your husband, op. Find a job you like better or learn to like the one you have and let your family rest and recover. Medical events can really take a toll on the family physically and emotionally. Cancer wasn’t your fault, I’m not saying that at all, but you do need to realize just what your family went through and what they may want to spend their time doing with you now that they can.  
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I was in big law for over 10 years.  Knew plenty of people who downsized and were very content.[/quote]

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