Reply to Mom and brother don’t want most of trip to be just them alone

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would speak to brother directly to confirm that your mother's account is accurate. Generally also it's better to talk directly about this issues, even if it's awkward. Maybe wait a few days until you feel ready.

I would feel hurt also, especially if you had been talking all year about it, and if it's likely the only time you'll travel there or altogether, since she's older.

I was excluded from a family trip to my parents' country of origin. I wasn't able to accompany at the time my brother wanted to go and there was no negotiating so they (3 siblings and their families, my parents, and my uncle and aunt) all went.  This trip will never happen again because my parents are too old to travel now and the grandkids are all in high school and college. It was a once in a lifetime trip to travel with the entire family.

It still hurts to see the pictures on my parents' walls with everyone on that trip except me and my son. Worse, on one of the photos, my dad photoshopped my son into one of the photos but it's obvious!  I wasn't photoshopped in...

[b]When it comes to needing more care for my aging parents, I am assuming my sibs will step up to the plate. I can't be relevant only when it's convenient for them.[/b]

Anyway, OP, this could be one of the last opportunities to travel together -- I would discuss with your brother to understand what his thinking is. [/quote]

I understand not being able to make a big family trip could be hurtful but this seems so petty. It's hard to plan travel with a large group and it's not surprising one party might be unavailable. Even if it was inconsiderate, is it really equal to a lifetime of your parents raising you? [/quote]

Large family trips are a logistical nightmare. We’ve never had one where every last person could make. Sometimes my family has been unable, sometimes other siblings. If you haven’t actually taken the reins and tried planning one of these, you might not realize what a huge hassle this is. Getting people to agree on dates is only the first pain in a$$ hurdle.[/quote]

Come on. This is 3 adults. Don't be ridiculous.[/quote]

But it's 3 adults where two have similar travel expectations and desires and one has different preferences and wants.  This type of situation has all of the same issues as a large family vacation.  The problem with large families is trying to balance what everyone wants.  Some want to do things together, some want to do things separately.  Some want more active, some want more relaxed.  And so on.  OP is potentially introducing this issue into a small group.[/quote]

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