Reply to Kid treated my boyfriend like crap

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]In front of you?

My boyfriends teenage sons are fairly polite and civil to me in front of him.

They are much less nice to me when he is around.

Which feels very….manipulative.

I haven’t decided yet if it’s a deal breaker [/quote]

Oh big typo sorry

They are much LESS nice to me when he IS T around. Curt one word answer, unpleasant facial expressions. Nothing solid I can report to my boyfriend but just a very unfriendly vibe.

I did not meet my boyfriend until two years after the divorce so no I am not the AP[/quote]
Why do you even need to be around them when your boyfriend isn’t there? They are allowed to not like you.[/quote]

They don’t need to like me, but they do need to be civil and polite to me, as I am to them. I’m not alone with them for long stretches. I’m talking like, we are sitting at dinner and dad goes inside to get something and their attitude completely changes for the few minutes thwt he is gone,[/quote]

They’re f’ing with you and it sounds like it’s working.

Be the adult and stop caring/noticing.  Imagine being this insecure about what some high schoolers are doing to you?

The more you don’t notice their shenanigans, the more frustrated they’ll get.  This will either cause them to stop or it will smoke them out so they misstep in front of dad.

If you’re savvy, you could engage in your own campaign of plausibly deniable activities but I have low confidence you’ll pull it off.[/quote]

Ugh no.  To the "teens are mean to me" PP, I'd suggest backing off way more than you have with these kids.  They have a mom (I'm guessing) and they do not want another one.  So, make sure you aren't acting like their mom.  Also, give them lots of solo time with their Dad.  The most annoying part of my father getting remarried when I was a teen was having to deal with his annoying wife all the time. He didn't see the issue, of course, why not have us all get together.  But I didn't want to navigate this new relationship with her because I didn't choose her.  I found her irritating, and I was still angry about the divorce. They've been married over 20 years now, and I stopped being mean to her about 16 years ago, but I still always really appreciate when she bows out of something and lets me just spend time with my dad.  Because she is still not my mom!  I can love and appreciate now what a good partner she is for my dad, so I care for her in that way.  But, that's about it.  [/quote]

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