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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP -

To answer three questions:

1. His income is $4K/month after taxes. 
2. This isn’t one trip. It’s 1-2 per year. Also I had a typo earlier, the trips are long weekends. The last one that he did not got to because of work was in February. 
3. This isn’t divorce planning. His dad left his mom after an affair and it ruined his childhood and left them in near poverty. He lives in fear of divorce.

I’ve also explained to him that even if we took the remainder of the $45k from our joint accounts, they are still commingled assets. Just like I explain that our retirement accounts are marital property since both were created only immediately before we were married.

As also mentioned, he is in my parents will. He will get $200k. [/quote]

Ugh OP. This is looking more and more like him getting his ducks in a row for divorce. His dad having an affair and leaving his mom in poverty makes him MORE likely to do it, not less.

Why on earth is he in your parents will??? It sounds like you and your parents have been complete doormats and he's been using you to financially support his desires and his family while he gives less and less and takes more and more.

WAKE UP!!! There's no non-nefarious reason for him to want you to give him $45K for his own personal use. There's no justification for it since he already spent it, but there also wouldn't be if he didn't spend it since he uses your money. The best case scenario is that he's continuing to use you to finance whatever he wants and treating you much worse than he demands that you treat him.

Who the $%^& is this raging narcissist to have both you and your parents believe that he should be revered and your role is to treat him above you while you pay for it? OP, you truly need therapy to learn to value yourself. Do this for your child if not for yourself. Don't raise them the way your parents raised you.[/quote]

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