Reply to I think my marriage may be over

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "I think my marriage may be over"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Loretta Lynn captured this (involuntary) loss of love.  I really think it happens more with women than men, who tend to be more unchanging in their feelings.  It must be less common with childless-by-choice couples, because the arrival of children A.:  introduces object/s of unconditional adoration and B.:  creates potent and chronic sources of bickering (workload sharing, financial stress, childcare, career choices, sleep deprivation, body changes, etc. etc.).

Tingle Becomes A Chill
Song by Loretta Lynn

Sometimes at night while you're fast asleep
I lie here alone in the darkness and weep
So sorry and sad but that's part of the deal
When the tingle becomes a chill

I never wanted to stop lovin' you
I'll swear by the breathe in my body that's true
Ah, but a woman can't help the way that she feels
When the tingle becomes a chill

You're so contented but for me it's all gone
And though I pretend you just don't turn me on
The body performs but the soul has no will
When the tingle becomes a chill

I never wanted to stop lovin' you
I swear by the breathe in my body that's true
Ah, but a woman can't help the way that she feels
When the tingle becomes a chill
[/quote]

Nailed it. The twist is I'm a man and sadly feel that way about my wife.
She's a great person and I don't want to break her heart.
And no, I have not cheated, but song is spot on.[/quote]

Is this the OP commenting above?

Man or woman, it doesn't matter. You're craving a fantasy you've been sold, not least by songs like this one. If your wife is a great person, you need to step back from the immature thinking that marriage and love are either "tingle" or "chill" with nothing in between.

You should realize that a real relationship is forged over time and by experiencing life together. Sometimes there's spark, sometimes there's not, but dumping a marriage (or "opening" it, which is nothing but condoned cheating) over feeling disengaged? That's unfair to the marriage. Note I didn't say, unfair to her or to you (it is) but unfair to the commitment you both made. Just because you feel...blah? Listen to the PP who said re: sex: You want more sex? Stop pulling away. Schedule it, don't get upset if it's not some perfect ideal the first time or every time. Go away with your wife ASAP and have sex, for God's sake. And then get individual therapy so you can figure out why you buy into the idea that love is about having a spark all the time forever. It isn't. It's about choosing to love when there isn't a spark and working toward keeping the spark going.

You sound mostly bored and unmotivated and fantasizing, and that's on you, not her. Get off the internet and get busy, get help, talk to her.  Don't be another divorce statistic (especially with a wife you describe the way you describe yours!). [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics