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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sorry, correction: You are NOT actively excluding women like me from your group, you just DON'T SEE US.

That's the implicit bias that your husband is talking about.[/quote]

I have to agree with this.  I was somewhat friends with someone like this in my early 20s.  She was nice and wasn't purposefully excluding people who weren't thin and pretty, I just don't think she noticed people who weren't and just didn't make the effort to get to know anyone who didn't fit in that mold.  She wasn't overtly mean or shallow.  [/quote]

Perhaps. But there are other reasons too. Like it or not, there are certain circumstances that are usually involved with being overweight, and these don't correlate well with putting in the effort to maintain several friendships.

I am fat, and I have one fat friend from college. All my mom friends are thin. They would be prettier too if they were younger ( I had my first kid in my twenties so almost always the youngest mom in any group in my neighborhood).

Generally, you are fat for one of very few reasons: you either lack discipline or you are not well,  or you have some very stressful and time consuming commitment that you don’t make time for yourself.

My fat friend works a million hours a week at a very stressful job. I probably have undiagnosed ADHD and mild ASD.

People who are disciplined, healthy and less stressed  tend to put more effort in most areas of their lives than people who are not one of these. They tend to have more time and capacity to stay thin and fit etc. They tend to have more time and capacity to prioritize and maintain friendships.

I am an outlier because I come from a very social culture so even with my undiagnosed problems, friendships are a major priority.
[/quote]

I'm thin and lazy and this comment is crazy. [/quote]

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