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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We're in this situation.  Older 2 are in college and the youngest still in HS.  Dad didn't engage with the kids when he had them--lots of parallel phone surfing.  Now that there is no longer a custody schedule they just say no thanks.

Because I know DCUM will ask--no dad is not paying for college; no the kids do not know that I am paying for it on my own.

The bigger issue is the younger one who sees that her siblings don't go and wants to know why she has to.  [/quote]

I’m sorry but I don’t believe for a second that your kids don’t know who’s paying for college.  I call bullshit.  [/quote]

NP. And so what if they do know that Dad is not paying for college? Mom has no obligation to hide that.

I was in a very similar position - 1 in college, 1 in HS. Very clear that Dad is not contributing in any way to college, but no-one makes a big deal about it. We just pay, cheerfully, as no one wants to make the kids feel bad. And yet, they clearly get that Dad could afford to contribute something, more easily than others who are, but chooses not to.

There was a custody schedule I followed, and asked the oldest to follow until the youngest was 18.  Now that they are both 18, I don’t see it as my business to be involved in their relationship with their Dad. They see him when they want to see him.  That amount turns out to be roughly proportional to the amount of time they feel he has invested in his relationship with them over the years. [/quote]

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